Why SEL Should Start with the Brain: My Take on “Emotions 101” for Kids

 When I first started teaching, social-emotional learning (SEL) felt like a breath of fresh air: finally, a structured way to help kids understand themselves and their emotions. But as the years have gone by, I’ve started to wonder: Are we over-complicating emotions for young kids? Are we inadvertently teaching them to label every worry or sadness as "anxiety" or "depression"? Shouldn't we be grounding SEL in brain health and letting kids in on some basic neuroscience?

Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist known for his deep dives into how the brain works, frequently emphasizes the importance of understanding what’s happening in our brains before jumping to conclusions about mental health. And he’s got a point: if kids know their brains are wired to feel nervous before a big test or sad when their best friend moves away, it normalizes these experiences. As Huberman once said, “Stress, in small amounts, is actually beneficial for the brain. It’s how we learn to adapt.” Imagine if we gave kids that kind of insight right from the start.

The Science of Feelings (and Why Kids Can Handle It)

Kids are surprisingly open to learning about the brain—possibly because it’s new, exciting, and has that cool science factor. They’re also way better than adults at accepting things as “normal” when we present it that way. I often wonder what would happen if, instead of “self-regulation,” we talked about “learning how the brain works when you’re upset.” It might be simpler and less intimidating for young minds.

We’re seeing a huge increase in reported mental health issues in schools, and I can't help but think we’re planting the seeds for it with all the "diagnostic language" being thrown around. As Huberman says, “The brain is designed to feel sad and nervous; these are adaptive responses.” Why not teach kids that? Explain that some nerves before a presentation mean their brain is gearing up to do its best, and a bit of sadness when things go wrong is part of how our brain helps us handle disappointment.

“I’m Sad” vs. “I Have Depression”

The word “depression” has made its way into kids’ conversations, and sometimes it feels like we're giving them a label too early, one that may be harder to shake. Instead of pushing phrases like "mental health," why not use simpler terms like “brain health” or “keeping your brain happy and balanced”? SEL focused on brain health could teach students how sadness is a healthy reaction to certain situations rather than a permanent state.

Nervousness, Anxiety, and the Power of Language

I recently heard Huberman talk about “constructive stress” and how crucial it is for brain development. He explained that the very brain regions activated by stress are the same ones that drive learning and memory formation. “A little bit of stress is your brain’s way of telling you something is important,” he says. This flips the narrative: nerves aren't a problem—they’re a brain signal that we’re about to do something meaningful.

Imagine telling a third grader: “Your brain is just waking up a bit and wants you to pay attention. A little nervousness is your brain’s way of saying, ‘Hey, I care about this!’” Doesn’t that sound more empowering than “managing your anxiety”?

Let’s Teach Kids to Work with Their Brains, Not Against Them

So, here’s what I’d like to see: SEL that starts with understanding the brain. By teaching kids how their brains naturally work, we’re not just giving them coping strategies. We’re giving them the gift of self-understanding. We’re normalizing the ups and downs of life as part of human experience and showing them that emotions are signals, not diagnoses.

Maybe it's time to focus SEL around the brain and normalize a bit of sadness or nervousness as healthy. It’s time to talk less about "mental health" and more about the brain’s amazing ability to feel, process, and adapt. And maybe, just maybe, our kids will grow up knowing they don’t have to label every feeling—they just need to understand their brain.

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